The true meaning of the season

Written by Kathy Weiss

Photo by Kathy Weiss

The approaching holiday season and long winter break presents a great parental challenge: How to teach kids that there’s more to the season than getting gifts and school vacation?

From Thanksgiving through the New Year, the quest for meaningful activities takes some thought and ingenuity. Need inspiration? Here are a few schemes local moms and dads have employed to help their kids think less about getting presents and more about being present during holiday celebrations.

For many families, the holidays are a time for gathering with extended family and thinking of those who are less fortunate.

Deb and Brandon Sieben of Iowa City use holiday gift-giving to teach their three girls, Kay, Karina and Georgia, ages 6, 4 and 2, to be generous with each other.

Rather than buying their siblings gifts at a store, Deb says, “We ask them to pick out something they already have to give to their sisters. We were surprised to find that most often they want to give them their favorite thing.”

The Siebens also participate in the annual Angel Tree project at Sycamore Mall. “Our girls take a girl’s name from the tree and then we shop for the gift together. It helps them understand that it’s about giving; not getting,” Deb said.

For many families, reading together is a favorite activity, especially during the holidays. On Christmas Eve, the Sieben family gathers around the tree to read the nativity story in the Bible and the kids use plastic figures from a crèche to act out the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem before they open their gifts.

“We count our blessings,” says Todd Hovey, a pharmaceutical rep in Iowa City. He and his stay-at-home wife, Dixie, live in Davenport with their two daughters, Kelsey, 11, and Claire, 8.

“It’s mayhem. It’s chaotic,” Todd exaggerates jokingly of their winter break, noting that aside from school activities, dance and Girl Scouts, the girls take part in a parade, gingerbread house building, community performances and more.

“One thing I like to do with the girls is ring bells for the Salvation Army,” Dixie shared. “The last time we did it was priceless. We stood in the food court at the mall and Kelsey danced around and Claire sang Christmas carols. People loved it.”

“We always try to help somebody in need,” Todd interjects. “Sometimes we provide a Christmas meal for a family. Not that we’re your model citizens, but we are trying to give thanks and help others.”

While they embrace certain traditions, the couple tries to change things up frequently. Last year on Christmas morning, the family drove to Florida to surprise Dixie’s brother.

“Here we were with a big bow wrapped around us standing on his front porch singing Christmas carols,” she recalled. “You can’t print what he said, but it was all good.” Another brother cried when he saw them and has since declared it the best Christmas ever.

Brian and Shellie Miller of Iowa City have a special family tradition on Christmas Eve.

“We bake a birthday cake for Baby Jesus,” explains Shellie, mother of Brilie, Easton and Elijah, who are 7, 5 and 3, respectively. Everyone enjoys decorating the cake,” she said, and the project helps them connect with the essence of the holiday.

“We also explain how the gifts under the tree are really for baby Jesus but because he loves us so much he shares them all with us,” she adds. “We try to keep the focus off of presents and more on why we celebrate Christmas — the birth of our Savior.”

Religious traditions are a big part of the season for many families. Yet, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, or just want to limit the amount of TV watching over winter break, parents can always draw on their own childhood experiences to enrich family life. Think drama, board games, playing school.

And never discount the value of an early winter snowstorm for hours of fun. In truth, it is a lot of little things that give meaning to the season. Happy memory making.

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